This is what ruined perfection looks like

Not to discredit Jered Weaver’s no-hitter in the least bit, but every time there is a no-hitter thrown, my first thought is always “how close was it to being a perfect game?“

Because sometimes you see no-hitters like Edwin Jackson’s no-no, when he blanked the Rays, but also walked eight guys and needed 149 pitches, and when Ubaldo Jimenez no-hitting the Braves, but walked six and threw 128 pitches.  These no-hitters, despite the pitchers preventing any batters from getting any hits, certainly were nothing close to perfection.

Jered Weaver’s no-hitter line:  9.0 IP, 0 H, 0 ER, 1 BB, 9 K, 121 pit, 77 str.  2 base runners total.

So Jered Weaver was actually pretty damn close to throwing a perfecto.  But Chris Ianetta committed a passed ball, allowing Chris Parmelee to reach first base in the 2nd inning, and Josh Willingham’s walk after refusing to take his bat off his shoulders after getting to a 1-2 count were the only blemishes on the no-no.

If you think about it, Josh Willingham kind of saved Chris Ianetta from getting punched in the dick.  Imagine if Willingham hadn’t walked, and Jered Weaver finished the no-hitter with a line that featured no hits and no walks, but due to Parmelee reaching on a third strike passed ball, it still wouldn’t have counted as a perfect game.  Obviously Jered wouldn’t risk hurting his pitching hand hitting another man in the genitalia, but I hear his brother Jeff is out of work, or maybe Hank Conger would have given him some punishment for sloppy catching, and insisted on taking the starting catching role.

The funny thing is that whenever perfect games are turned into “plain” no-hitters, and no-hitters are broken, it’s so often times an unsuspecting culprit to ruins it.  Chris Parmelee is a young, 24-year old first baseman slash corner outfielder who brought a .220/.281/.322 batting line into Anaheim, but somehow ended up on first base once, as opposed to guys like Joe Mauer (.394 OBP) and Denard Span (.377 OBP), who couldn’t.  And to erase all doubt and ruin the pretty pitching line, Josh Willingham, despite playing a bit over his head so far this year, is on his fourth team already, had to go and draw a walk.

Chris Parmelee and Josh Willingham: the Perfect-o-busters